Leave it to David Letterman to come up with a great Christmas top 10 list. Here’s a list from 2006 of Ten Things You Don’t Want To Hear From A Guy Dressed As Santa.
10.”All I want for Christmas is a handful of Vicodin”
9.”Maybe this Christmas, someone will give you a shirt that’s not that ugly”
8.”What do you want for Christmas…Ah, I really don’t care”
7.”Feel my beard — It’s 100% squirrel”
6.”My rabbi said I’m going to hell for wearing this”
5.”Ho…Ho…Ho” (points to 3 old women)
4.”I may not be the real Santa, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen you while you’re sleeping”
3.”Enjoy the last Christmas before we get nuked by the North Koreans”
2.”Hey handsome, meet me under the mistletoe in 10 minutes”
1.”For a hundred bucks, I’ll let you unwrap me”
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