1. The Twisted Chipmunk Song – Bob Rivers
If you can’t stand those cheerful high-pitched singing chipmunks and their cute little song imploring Christmas not to be late, you’ll probably enjoy this twisted version of the song. You’ll still have to put up with those high-pitched chipmunk voices, but these lyrics aren’t a sappy plea to Santa to bring lots of nice toys.

2. Jingle Bombs – Jeff Dunham
Ventriloquist and comedian Jeff Dunham allows his dummy, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, to sing his own version of Jingle Bells on Dunham’s “Don’t Come Home for Christmas” CD. Achmed’s version includes some jabs at “Guitar Guy” and lyrics that include, “Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back…” And if you’re familiar with Achmed’s signature phrase, you won’t be disappointed.

3. She’s a Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas – Patent Pending
Forget about Mommy kissing Santa Claus. This isn’t a song you’ll want the kids hearing – or repeating. The “ho ho ho” in this funny Christmas song for adults isn’t stopping with a peck under the mistletoe. She’s spending Christmas “with a bottle in her hands and with her legs around a man.”  But can you blame her? “Ever since her grandma got run over by a reindeer, she’s been running low on Christmas cheer.”

4. The Twelve Pains Of Christmas – Bob Rivers
There’s no partridge in a pear tree in Bob Rivers’ parody of the 12 Days of Christmas. Rivers has a long list of complaints in this song, from singing Christmas carols to finding a Christmas tree, and plenty of “pains” in between.

5. Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas – Jeff Foxworthy
If you want another funny 12 Days of Christmas song, comedian Jeff Foxworthy offers the Redneck 12 Days of Christmas.  What do rednecks get for Christmas? Counting backwards, it’s 12 packs of Bud, 11 wrestlin’ tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, and so on down to some parts for a Mustang GT.

Click below to here samples of these funny Christmas songs for adults.

These are the lyrics for the version of the song by Little Stinkers. Usher also has a version of this song that apparently replaces the fart sound in the chorus with some explicit lyrics.

I Farted on Santa’s Lap (And Now Christmas is Gonna Stink for Me) Lyrics
Mom made beans for dinner, I know I ate ‘em all
Said, “Come get your coat on, goin’ to the mall.”
Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese.

Waiting there for Santa, thought that I’d explode
The gas bubble grew bigger with every ho-ho-ho
Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doin’ swell
But when I sat down on Santa’s lap, he hollered, “What’s that smell?”

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

I asked him for a baseball, I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates, but I’ll get none of that.
I asked him for a lot of things I’ll have to do without
‘Cause when I sat down on Santa’s lap, I let one slip out.

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

On Christmas Eve, I snuck out of my bed without a sound
I went down to the living room just to take a look around
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me!

He put them on a pile, got up to turn around
And blew a fart with such great force, our tree almost came down!
And so I’ll always cherish that special moment when
I realize even Old Saint Nick rips one now and then!

I farted on Santa’s lap
And Christmas didn’t stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
And Santa let one on my Christmas tree!

I Saw Elvis Dressed as Santa Claus
(Sung to the tune of “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”)

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
In my home town shopping mall last night.
I knew it must be him
Santa is a very slim.
And his sideburns where much darker
Than the whiskers on his chin.

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
Hiding under that beard of snowy white.
Then I saw his whiskers slip,
When he curled his lip.
Elvis dressed as Santa Claus last night.

Spoken:
Yessiree, I saw Elvis sitting on Santa’s throne.
Really I did, and I’m gonna call the Enquirer,
Because after all,
Suspicious minds wanna know.
He had blue suede boots and bells,
You should have seen it for yourselves.

And did you ever wonder why it is
They call his helpers elves?

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
Hiding under that beard of snowy white.
Oh you can imagine my surprise,
When I saw through his disguise.
Elvis dressed as Santa Claus last night.

Well, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
In my home town shopping mall last night.
He was sitting in Santa’s chair,
little sister pulling on his hair.
And I heard him say, “Now don’t be cruel,
You’ll get a teddy bear.”

Oh, I saw Elvis dressed as Santa Claus
Hiding underneath that beard of snowy white.
Then I saw his whiskers slip,
When he curled his lip.
Elvis dressed as Santa Claus last night.

Well it makes me wanna sing
Blue Christmas like the King.
Elvis dressed as Santa Claus last night.
Elvis here, Elvis there, Elvis everywhere!

I heard him say, “Now don’t be cruel,
You’ll get a teddy bear.”