1. The Twisted Chipmunk Song – Bob Rivers
If you can’t stand those cheerful high-pitched singing chipmunks and their cute little song imploring Christmas not to be late, you’ll probably enjoy this twisted version of the song. You’ll still have to put up with those high-pitched chipmunk voices, but these lyrics aren’t a sappy plea to Santa to bring lots of nice toys.

2. Jingle Bombs – Jeff Dunham
Ventriloquist and comedian Jeff Dunham allows his dummy, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, to sing his own version of Jingle Bells on Dunham’s “Don’t Come Home for Christmas” CD. Achmed’s version includes some jabs at “Guitar Guy” and lyrics that include, “Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back…” And if you’re familiar with Achmed’s signature phrase, you won’t be disappointed.

3. She’s a Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas – Patent Pending
Forget about Mommy kissing Santa Claus. This isn’t a song you’ll want the kids hearing – or repeating. The “ho ho ho” in this funny Christmas song for adults isn’t stopping with a peck under the mistletoe. She’s spending Christmas “with a bottle in her hands and with her legs around a man.”  But can you blame her? “Ever since her grandma got run over by a reindeer, she’s been running low on Christmas cheer.”

4. The Twelve Pains Of Christmas – Bob Rivers
There’s no partridge in a pear tree in Bob Rivers’ parody of the 12 Days of Christmas. Rivers has a long list of complaints in this song, from singing Christmas carols to finding a Christmas tree, and plenty of “pains” in between.

5. Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas – Jeff Foxworthy
If you want another funny 12 Days of Christmas song, comedian Jeff Foxworthy offers the Redneck 12 Days of Christmas.  What do rednecks get for Christmas? Counting backwards, it’s 12 packs of Bud, 11 wrestlin’ tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, and so on down to some parts for a Mustang GT.

Click below to here samples of these funny Christmas songs for adults.

“I Am Santa Claus” (Iron Man Santa Claus Parody) Lyrics
I am Santa Claus
Ho ho ho ho ho
Flying Through the snow
Can you hear him ho ho ho
He’s so full of cheer
only has to work one day a year
Children in their beds
Visions of sugar plums fill their heads
So many kids out there
Santa must be a billionare
Red suit, boots of black
Big sack of toys hanging off his back
How much does he weigh
How do the reindeer pull his sleigh
Nobody sees him
as he travels the world
Leaving his presents
for the good boys and girls
Ho ho ho ho ho
Sees every move you make
Better be good for goodness sake
Leave him cookies and beer
He’ll be back to your house first next year
I am Santa Claus
Ho ho ho ho ho

These are the lyrics for the version of the song by Little Stinkers. Usher also has a version of this song that apparently replaces the fart sound in the chorus with some explicit lyrics.

I Farted on Santa’s Lap (And Now Christmas is Gonna Stink for Me) Lyrics
Mom made beans for dinner, I know I ate ‘em all
Said, “Come get your coat on, goin’ to the mall.”
Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese.

Waiting there for Santa, thought that I’d explode
The gas bubble grew bigger with every ho-ho-ho
Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doin’ swell
But when I sat down on Santa’s lap, he hollered, “What’s that smell?”

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

I asked him for a baseball, I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates, but I’ll get none of that.
I asked him for a lot of things I’ll have to do without
‘Cause when I sat down on Santa’s lap, I let one slip out.

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

On Christmas Eve, I snuck out of my bed without a sound
I went down to the living room just to take a look around
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me!

He put them on a pile, got up to turn around
And blew a fart with such great force, our tree almost came down!
And so I’ll always cherish that special moment when
I realize even Old Saint Nick rips one now and then!

I farted on Santa’s lap
And Christmas didn’t stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
And Santa let one on my Christmas tree!

All I want for Christmas is a real good tan
Take me to the islands
Put my feet in the sand
Rockin’ to and fro with the rhythm of the ocean
Singin’ silent night with the palm trees a blowin’

Ooooh, don’t you think it’s a pretty good plan
All I want for Christmas is a real good tan

Well if you’re thinkin’ ‘bout gettin’ me a present this year
Let me put a bug in your cute little ear
How about two tickets to a tropical show
Where we don’t have to wear these winter clothes anymore
Instead of turkey we’ll have mahi mahi grillin’
And pina colodas in the blender chillin’

All I want for Christmas is a real good tan
Take me to the islands
Put my feet in the sand
Singin’ silent night with the palm trees a blowin’

Ooooh, don’t you think it’s a pretty good plan
All I want for Christmas is a real good tan

Well everybody’s prayin’ for a Christmas so white
Come to think about it that would be alright
As long as there is sand nor snow on the ground
And everyday our skin gets a little more brown
We’ll string some lights in a coconut tree
I’ll rub some oil on you and you can rub some on me

All I want for Christmas is a real good tan
I can see us baby on the beach hand in hand
Rockin’ to and fro with the rhythm of the ocean
Baby whats you say you and me we’ll be goin’

Ooooh, I can almost feel my toes in the sand
All I want for Christmas is a real good tan

And don’t worry baby we’ll celebrate plenty
I’ll buy you some shades a brand new bikini
We won’t have to worry about the holiday rush
It’ll be you and me fallen’ deeper in love

Ooooh, don’t you think it’s a pretty good plan
All I want for Christmas is a real good tan

All I want for Christmas is a real good tan