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5 Funny Christmas Songs for Adults

funnybone — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 05:15:12 +0000

Tired of the sappy traditional Christmas carols? Try some of these funny Christmas songs for adults and discover some irreverent new tunes for the holidays.

1. The Twisted Chipmunk Song – Bob Rivers
If you can’t stand those cheerful high-pitched singing chipmunks and their cute little song imploring Christmas not to be late, you’ll probably enjoy this twisted version of the song. You’ll still have to put up with those high-pitched chipmunk voices, but these lyrics aren’t a sappy plea to Santa to bring lots of nice toys.

2. Jingle Bombs – Jeff Dunham
Ventriloquist and comedian Jeff Dunham allows his dummy, Achmed the Dead Terrorist, to sing his own version of Jingle Bells on Dunham’s “Don’t Come Home for Christmas” CD. Achmed’s version includes some jabs at “Guitar Guy” and lyrics that include, “Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back…” And if you’re familiar with Achmed’s signature phrase, you won’t be disappointed.

3. She’s a Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas – Patent Pending
Forget about Mommy kissing Santa Claus. This isn’t a song you’ll want the kids hearing – or repeating. The “ho ho ho” in this funny Christmas song for adults isn’t stopping with a peck under the mistletoe. She’s spending Christmas “with a bottle in her hands and with her legs around a man.” But can you blame her? “Ever since her grandma got run over by a reindeer, she’s been running low on Christmas cheer.”

4. The Twelve Pains Of Christmas – Bob Rivers
There’s no partridge in a pear tree in Bob Rivers’ parody of the 12 Days of Christmas. Rivers has a long list of complaints in this song, from singing Christmas carols to finding a Christmas tree, and plenty of “pains” in between.

5. Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas – Jeff Foxworthy
If you want another funny 12 Days of Christmas song, comedian Jeff Foxworthy offers the Redneck 12 Days of Christmas. What do rednecks get for Christmas? Counting backwards, it’s 12 packs of Bud, 11 wrestlin’ tickets, 10 a Copenhagen, 9 years probation, and so on down to some parts for a Mustang GT.

Click below to here samples of these funny Christmas songs for adults.

Santa’s Stuck up in the Chimney

funnybone — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 23:45:23 +0000

This fun video features the song Santa’s Stuck Up in the Chimney, by Paul Evans. Maybe it’s time for Santa to take a hint – it’s time to lay off the milk and cookies.

Australian Jingle Bells

funnybone — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 06:44:08 +0000

Santa may have snow in the North Pole, and everyone above the equator may be celebrating winter, but Down Under it’s summer and it’s hot. So the traditional lyrics of “dashing through the snow” in Jingle Bells just won’t work. Here’s an Australian version that features a Holden Ute (to translate for Yanks, that’s a coupe manufactured by the GM subsidiary in Australia) instead of a one-horse open sleigh.

Wookiees Can’t Sing

funnybone — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 05:57:44 +0000

If Chewbacca is any indication, there’s no fear Wookiees will be making it to American Idol.

Randolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer

funnybone — Fri, 17 Dec 2010 06:26:20 +0000

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen. And, of course, the famous red-nosed reindeer, Rudolph. But did you ever hear about Randolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer? He’s not quite as famous.

King Julien Sings “Santa Claus is Coming to Madagascar”

funnybone — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:53:18 +0000

If you’re a fan of the Madagascar movies or TV series, you’ll enjoy this video of King Julien singing “Santa Claus is Coming to Madagascar.” This is from the DVD “Merry Madagascar, a 22-minute animated holiday film featuring all the kooky characters from the movie.

Scruffy the Elf

funnybone — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 22:24:23 +0000

Who knew life at the North Pole was so tough?

12 Dogs of Christmas Singing Live from the North Pole

funnybone — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 02:49:50 +0000

You gotta love a dog food company that advertises its products with a funny Christmas video featuring singing dogs.

Iron Man Santa Claus Parody

funnybone — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 20:40:57 +0000

Share When it comes to parody Christmas songs, Bob Rivers knows how to make them. His albums such as Twisted Christmas, More Twisted Christmas and Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire, are annual favorites. What many people refer to as the “Iron Man Santa Claus” song is one of his tunes. Actually known as “I Am Santa Claus,” it’s a parody that is also the title of the 1993 album on which the song appears. The “Iron Man Santa Claus” parody is sung to the tune of the Black Sabbath song “Iron Man.” In the video version, a normal dad turns into Santa Claus and goes out on a late-night rock and roll adventure. Take a look.

“I Am Santa Claus” (Iron Man Santa Claus Parody) Lyrics
I am Santa Claus
Ho ho ho ho ho
Flying Through the snow
Can you hear him ho ho ho
He’s so full of cheer
only has to work one day a year
Children in their beds
Visions of sugar plums fill their heads
So many kids out there
Santa must be a billionare
Red suit, boots of black
Big sack of toys hanging off his back
How much does he weigh
How do the reindeer pull his sleigh
Nobody sees him
as he travels the world
Leaving his presents
for the good boys and girls
Ho ho ho ho ho
Sees every move you make
Better be good for goodness sake
Leave him cookies and beer
He’ll be back to your house first next year
I am Santa Claus
Ho ho ho ho ho

I Farted On Santa’s Lap Lyrics

funnybone — Sat, 25 Sep 2010 18:26:32 +0000

Share Kids who still enjoy farting humor will love this song about a boy who worries that a bit of flatulence during his visit to see Santa Claus will ruin Christmas Day. But, as we all know, kids aren’t the only ones who have problems after eating beans.

These are the lyrics for the version of the song by Little Stinkers. Usher also has a version of this song that apparently replaces the fart sound in the chorus with some explicit lyrics.

I Farted on Santa’s Lap (And Now Christmas is Gonna Stink for Me) Lyrics
Mom made beans for dinner, I know I ate ‘em all
Said, “Come get your coat on, goin’ to the mall.”
Gonna visit Santa and sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about was how not to cut the cheese.

Waiting there for Santa, thought that I’d explode
The gas bubble grew bigger with every ho-ho-ho
Tried my best to hide it, thought I was doin’ swell
But when I sat down on Santa’s lap, he hollered, “What’s that smell?”

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

I asked him for a baseball, I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates, but I’ll get none of that.
I asked him for a lot of things I’ll have to do without
‘Cause when I sat down on Santa’s lap, I let one slip out.

I farted on Santa’s lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
Now I’ll get (fart sound) under my Christmas tree.

On Christmas Eve, I snuck out of my bed without a sound
I went down to the living room just to take a look around
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents and they were all for me!

He put them on a pile, got up to turn around
And blew a fart with such great force, our tree almost came down!
And so I’ll always cherish that special moment when
I realize even Old Saint Nick rips one now and then!

I farted on Santa’s lap
And Christmas didn’t stink for me
I farted on Santa’s lap
And Santa let one on my Christmas tree!